“O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-ey’d monster, which doth mock
The meat it feeds on.“
~Iago to Othello (Otello, Act 3, Scene 3, 165-171)
I went to RCIA with my uncle and I recognized somebody there. Sure enough it was my ex-girlfriend’s younger sister. We talked a bit and I found out my ex-girlfriend has a boyfriend.
There was a spark of jealousy inside of me and I avoided it for the moment, but it does bring back old feelings when I was with my first real girlfriend. I got over her a long time ago, and in fact, I got over it three years ago when we broke up. However, I did not expect her sister there and hear about the girl I once dated. Having a stable relationship was something I have always wanted since I first started liking girls, but this hasn’t been my strong point. I am still trying to figure out who I am and what God wants of me. It really is difficult because I have to think if I really want to be with a particular woman my whole life, and have a family with her, or am I just doing this to know what romance feels like.
I should not have to feel jealous. It is spiritually, psychologically and emotionally unhealthy. Jealous (or envy) is one of the seven deadly sins. I feel like I might be jealous because she was the one girl who seriously wanted a romantic relationship with me and I haven’t had luck dating girls since then. Sure I’ve talked to plenty of girls and asked a few out, but no success. So I feel like something is owed to me. Like I said before; this mentality is not healthy in a number of different ways and I need prayers. I generally don’t ask people to pray for me since I see many with more problems with me, but if I don’t ask others to pray for me, then I can’t expect to get over these feelings such as envy, depression and lack of confidence.